I've been struggling with where to begin and what to say (again) and how I might best use my voice as a transgender person of privilege (i.e. outwardly perceived as male—and a white male, at that) in these divisive times of change and transition for this country and planet and all of humanity.
Change isn’t always easy and based on personal experience, it’s not always fast, either...
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” ~ Lao Tzu
It takes time to transition from “female” to “male”.
It took time for me to transition out of my corporate day job into self-employment.
And it’s taking HELLA TIME for me to transition into healthier, wealthier, and happier versions of myself, physically/emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.. .(whew)
Clearly, personal transitions take time and persistence and patience, and it seems that larger-scale and global transitions feel especially tedious when the changes are a challenge to well-established belief systems (like, say, “gender” or “race” or “politics”).
Sometimes, I think that I understand how Change works—at least, within myself—but I don’t always feel like I understand how to navigate bigger changes happening around me in the outside world...
Sometimes, it all feels too big and too much, and I just feel way too small...
Sometimes, I still struggle to allow myself to be seen, tending towards my go-to childhood, self-preservation-mode of choice—hiding all the ways I’ve felt different or “other”...
Growing up an empathic people pleaser, I always struggled to fully know and express who I am and what I believe—especially when they were so, seemingly, opposed to those around me... But even that’s an old, outdated belief/habit of my own and something I’m actively changing within myself.
I understand that sharing my unique voice & perspective and my visibility as a transperson are vital for creating and BEING the change that I wish to see, and I wholeheartedly believe that’s true for ALL of us—no matter our life’s labels or circumstances.
Many of the old ways and walls of separation are crumbling—both inside myself and outside in the world—and I know that, personally, who I am is merging more and more with what I do and WHY. My old compartmentalized life is dissolving into something more unified, and it’s becoming increasingly more difficult for me to separate who I am from what I believe or do or create.
I know that, in many ways, it’s up to us—the “others”—to help clear the overgrowth of old, binary belief systems and make our ways towards something new and more unified—to create the changes we wish to be and see.
And I know it’s time to be seen more fully as who WE ARE within what we do and create.
Since these are changes I’m wanting to see reflected in the outside world, I’m choosing to dissolve more of my own, inner, fearful walls of separation—starting right here...
These personal blogs around my transition have always been (relatively) private and anonymous, but I’m in the process of creating something new that will bring everything—from my personal transitions to my broader ideas about creating and changing—together...
Thank you, sincerely, for your continued interest in my writing and for following this GENDERFUL journey over these last several years.
I’m excited for you to join me in creating these next, new changes!
And I’d love to hear about any new changes you’re creating in yourself or your world?