And what IS "gender" anyway?
To me, gender's always been a way of self identification and self expression, and at different points in my life, I've claimed different labels for my gender ("tomboy" and "butch" and "genderqueer"—just to name a few),
Now, I sometimes I feel like I'm a little bit of all—swirled together in a spectrum of gender identities and expressions.
I see gender (and our individual expressions of gender) as beautiful and wonderful and colorful, and of course, FULL of all kinds of wonder... and beauty... and color—an entire spectrum of genders—plural, yes. I feel like we're all so much more than a single box that can be checked on a form.
So, I guess we might say that GENDERFUL is a celebration of the unique color and wonder and beauty of each of our individual expressions of life—through gender.
GENDERFUL is a personal blend of masculinity and femininity—gender that is inclusive, compassionate, understanding, and affirming.
GENDERFUL is "gender" at its most empowering and its most inspiring—gender, that is uniquely YOU: authentic and expressive; expansive and evolving.
GENDERFUL is being YOU with only one label: LOVE.
Howdy, Friends! I'm Aaron, and GENDERFUL is my story...
Or, at least, that's how this site started—just a collection of personal essays about my own physical/mental/social transition (from female-to-male) and my (subsequent?) spiritual transformation...
The short version is this:
I hope to share a new perspective (mine and others') around the intersection of gender/sexuality/spirituality. I spent so much of my own childhood, adolescence, and young adult years, confused and without a real understanding of how to connect with my innate spiritual identity, and I hope these stories bring peace to anyone who is searching for something else—something new, like peace.
Now, the longer version of the story...
It's taken me (well over) three decades to find (relative) ease in understanding and sharing my perspective of my life and to find comfort (and confidence!) in my own expanding beliefs as a creative and spiritual human being...
As a LGBTQ, etc. kid raised in a conservative, Christian, East Texas home, I didn't quite know how I fit into my then-ideas about God or spirituality or the world—and especially into "the church".
Like so many other kids like me within the world of organized religion, I actually felt (mostly) broken, unworthy, and out-of-place. In fact, throughout my early adult years, I distanced myself completely from organized religion (and from ANY notion of "God" or spirituality) altogether, and I labeled myself "agnostic", at best.
I wish there was a way to easily package and share the many mystical and miraculous experiences of the last several years that brought me to my current state and set of beliefs... I suppose that's the "problem" from whence this GENDERFUL project was born—it was born from a personal desire to wrap words and language around experiences and perspectives, that defied words and language...
From then until now, I've changed in ways that make my physical transition pale in comparison.
Now, I attempt write from a more integrated perspective—aligning where I've been with where I am now and where I'm going. I hope to show other queer kids, like me, that there are other ways to connect with God, spirituality, and the world (and who knows, maybe even their churches)...
I also interview other transgender and gender nonconforming folks to learn from THEIR unique perspectives of life, God, fear, and authenticity...
I'm still healing and learning, and I'm definitely still transitioning and growing :)
GENDERFUL's become a great creative outlet, a place for me to practice using my voice, and a space to share my own unique perspectives on gender identity/expression, creativity, and spirituality. It's also been an incredible exercise in putting concrete language, structure, and shape around some of the organic and abstract ideas and lessons (specifically around living a more creative, balanced, and holistic life) that I've learned (for myself) along my path of self discovery and authentic expression.
Ah, but such is art, as is in life; GENDERFUL can't and won't remain as it's always been, and the time has come for growth and change to happen, here.
Change can be scary and absolute greatness—both—at the same time :)
I'm not sure when the next iteration of GENDERFUL will take flight, but it's stretching its wings now...
In the meantime, I want to promise a few things to myself (and to you):
I promise fear won't win.
I promise to make and share my heart's work.
I promise to focus on the greatness of each next new/next step.
As always, thank you for visiting GENDERFUL with an open heart and mind, and thank you for your interest in these, genderful stories.